(abortion)
I never wanted you
I’ve known it soundly
and I still do
yet something inside me
chose him
and your voice
rang through
Alive
Alive
Alive
I am alive
and for a moment
so were you
for your sake
and my own
I chose to let you go
what fusion you bear
cells, DNA, light
and souls
combined so electrically
so enthusiastically
so movingly
to create life
and my love
I felt you
knocking
calling
awaiting
and my love
I promise you
love coursed through you
as it does me
and you were endlessly
unspeakably
wordlessly
loved
though love
is not always
a warm welcome
and love is not
inherently desire fulfilled
love is too
a closed door
a passing by
a letting go
as I felt you knocking
I too feel your absence
I too feel your grief
at not being chosen
my love
I too feel your abandonment
perhaps your confusion
I too feel your imagined inadequacy
and every ounce of
of your unfulfilled
potential
(abortion)