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  • Sophia E. Aguiñaga

(abortion)

I never wanted you

I’ve known it soundly

and I still do

yet something inside me

chose him

and your voice

rang through


Alive

Alive

Alive

I am alive


and for a moment

so were you


for your sake

and my own

I chose to let you go


what fusion you bear

cells, DNA, light

and souls

combined so electrically

so enthusiastically

so movingly

to create life


and my love

I felt you

knocking

calling

awaiting


and my love

I promise you

love coursed through you

as it does me

and you were endlessly

unspeakably

wordlessly

loved


though love

is not always

a warm welcome

and love is not

inherently desire fulfilled


love is too

a closed door

a passing by

a letting go


as I felt you knocking

I too feel your absence

I too feel your grief

at not being chosen


my love

I too feel your abandonment

perhaps your confusion

I too feel your imagined inadequacy

and every ounce of

of your unfulfilled

potential


(abortion)

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